His Hair Better Not Be Blue At The Wedding
by mojomacy
Summary: After Teddy pranks her on her birthday, Victoire is out to get revenge. It's time to show Teddy what he's up against..... Oneshot. A little bit of Teddy and Victoire. R&R!


Victoire POV

"WAKE UP!!!"

I sat up, and let out a groan as my head hit the ceiling with a thunk. Plaster drifted down, flecking my bed, and landing in my hair as I let out a few of Ron's choice words. You'd think on a girl's thirteenth birthday they'd let her sleep in, right? Yeah. Not if you're a Weasley.

I slid out of bed more carefully this time, fingering the rising bump on the top of my head. I stepped out of my nightgown and into a light blue silky dress. It had been Maman's Beauxbaton dress for special occasions, and she'd given it to me last year. After making a few changes, I finally could wear it and display a little bit of my chest, now that I actually had one.

I put a flower in my hair as the finishing touch, and smiled. Stunning. Thank god. Now that I looked adult, maybe my parents would finally get the hint to stop treating me like a little child. I shoved some blue ballet flats on my feet, and felt my toes scream for mercy. Maman had managed to buy me the most uncomfortable pair in the whole world, but at least my legs looked nice.

Now, the hardest part. Make up or no makeup? To be or not to be? I grabbed some light pink lipstick from my drawer, and held it up against my lips, which were dry and cracked. It looked fine, but…….

"VICTOIRE APOLLINE WEASLEY!" Maman screamed. "Come down this _instant!" _Yeah, that's Maman all right. Papa says it's all her French blood whenever she's not around. If she ever hears him, she smacks him.

I decided to wear just a light coat of makeup. I pulled the lipstick across my lips, patted on some light blush, and wiped some eye shadow on my eyes. I fingered a string of pearls around my neck that Gabrielle had given me when I was just a baby. I've worn them ever since I could toddle around, though it drove Maman crazy to see them dragging around.

"Are you coming?" I let out a girly shriek, and spun to see Teddy Lupin, Satan's spawn himself standing in the doorway like it was his. He grinned as I grabbed my pillow and hurled it at him. "I hate you," I snarled. Well, not really, but he is a boy. Boys are pretty much annoying, though I was beginning to see a little bit of an upside. Key words: Little bit.

"Love you too, Vic." He said. "You look like you're a, a, a…." I trailed off, looking for a suitable insult that he wouldn't instantly go tattle on. You'd think a boy who was constantly in trouble would learn not to tattle, but not Teddy. He tattled unmercifully. Must be that mischievous Marauder blood.

Maman came up the stairs and cried "Victoire!" She let out a stream of rapid fire French, and I smiled as Teddy looked frustrated. Maman taught me, Dominique, and Lois how to speak French ever since we were fluent in English, and we often spoke in it when it was just the three of us. She'd tried to teach Papa too, but he'd drawn the line. Papa always says he'll do anything for Maman, but sometimes he will resist. I think he was afraid she'd try to get us to move to France and send me to Beauxbaton if he learned it.

She stared at me, and shook her head sharply. "Victoire!" she scolded. "Is that my old Beauxbaton dress? You cut it up?" She shook her head, and her silvery blonde curls flew. My hair's almost like hers, except dead straight. Only Louis got curls in his hair, and those are just waves. Trust a boy to get what we girls long for.

"Well, she'll look ugly anyway, so what's the point?" Teddy said, not even trying to lower his voice. Maman rounded on him, and shrieked "Teddy Lupin! Go downstairs _immediately! _Alone in Victoire's room with no one else but her!" I rolled my eyes at that. I swear, sometimes I think she thinks we're going to elope to Romania and go live with Charlie. It would be an improvement, minus Teddy. I'll have to think about that…..

Teddy nodded, smirked at me, ruffled his now purple hair, and skidded downstairs. I heard a large crash, and a loud curse when he reached the bottom. I rolled my eyes. At some times, particularly when he's pranking people, Teddy can be the master of stealth itself. At other times though……

"Fleur!" Papa called. "Change immediately." Maman ordered, before skipping downstairs gracefully. I wish that I had that sort of grace. The only grace I have is at dancing. Supposedly, it's from the veela blood I have in me, other than that supposed prettiness. Except, of course, Teddy thinks I'm butt ugly, which I normally wouldn't care about. One problem: Teddy doesn't lie. Ever.

I waited for the sounds to fade, then exited my room. I could practically feel my face turning bright red, courtesy of the Weasley blood. I walked down the stairs as gracefully as I could, hissing "Like a cloud. Like a cloud." To myself.

It must have worked well, because everyone gaped except Teddy. Teddy wasn't even there. My fist tingled in want to punch the traitor in the face. It was my thirteenth birthday, and the jerk didn't even bother to wish me a happy one.

Maman puffed up, and began to go into a rant about my clothes being 'improper' and 'too revealing'. Please. My clothes were fine. Papa held his hand up, and murmured "Fleur, it's fine." _"Thanks," _I mouthed, and he smiled. "Happy Birthday." I hugged him, smiling up at his scarred face. To me, it's never been ugly. It just gives his face a quality of it's own, original.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Victoire….." The younger kids launched into the birthday song, and I smiled. The adults ushered me towards the kitchen, and I walked in. I felt like a princess since everybody was being nice to me, and it was all perfect. This day couldn't get any better.

They finished singing, and I began to blow out the candles. The surface of the cake began to bubble the moment I extinguished the last one with my breath, and then the cake exploded. Icing splattered me from head to toe, covering my hair and face, and making my beautiful dress look like some kind of demented clown dress. "TEDDY!" I screeched, wiping cake off my face. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

He appeared at the entrance to the kitchen, and collapsed into laughter. I threw a piece at him, and Maman snapped "Victoire!" I glared at her, and yelled "Look what he did!" She began to laugh, followed by the other adults. My cheeks flamed, and I furiously stormed up to my room and locked the door.

The day couldn't have gotten better, but it sure got worse.

Victoire POV

I stripped out of my cake covered dress, steaming with fury. My parents chose to side with Teddy rather than me? Typical. Just typical. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom rack, and flipped on the shower. Water drenched my upper body as the shower head went crazing, shooting liquid all over.

I ducked, and screamed "ARGH!" in frustration. Water shot in my direction, and I covered my head with the towel. I scurried towards the door, and slipped on the now wet floor. I landed on my butt, hard, and was totally soaked.

The shower head then stopped spraying, and I kicked the tub. A spray hit me directly in the forehead, and I murmured a few curse words. I rubbed my butt, which probably was going to be bruised, and closed my eyes in frustration. People always said being a teen was a pain, but I had no idea it was _literal. _ If being a teenager indicated extreme embarrassment, and falling on your butt, I'd pass, thank you very much.

"You ok in there?" For the second time that day, I jumped, and screamed when I heard Teddy's voice. I slipped again, unsuccessfully grabbing at the sink to keep me steady. I slammed into the tiles, and shrieked "TEDDY LUPIN, I FLIPPING HATE YOU SO MUCH!" "Love you too." I growled, and hissed in pain. I'd smacked my funny bone as I fell, and it wasn't funny at _all._

"Are you still mad?" he inquired. "Duh!" "Well then, good." My eyes widened, and I yelled "Teddy Lupin, if I wasn't naked right now I would murder you!" "You're naked?" he asked in disbelief, starting to laugh. I locked the door, kicked it for good measure, and turned the shower on again.

Water shot out, and hit me again. This time, though, it was hot. I screamed like a little girl, and turned it off. "What, turning the shower on is too much for little Vicky?" "Don't call me that," I snapped, wondering if I could just take a bath in the sink.

"You need help?" I gaped in the mirror, and then yelled "You're so sick!" He collapsed in laughter, and I punched the door this time. I yelped in pain, and then said "You better go away before I kill you!" "I thought you were naked." He replied. "I am-" Inspiration appeared in my brain, and I shouted "Maman!" Teddy's footsteps hurried away.

I grinned, and then turned the shower on for the last time. I gave it my I'm-going-to-kill-you look, which never fails, surprisingly. I really hope that it's not just everyone obliging just because I'm a pretty girl, or some kind of junk like that. Sadly, it is something my family might do.

I hopped in, and shouted out when the water suddenly turned freezing cold before heating up. "I swear, I will get Maman to make Molly buy another shower unless you quit!" I yelled. It stayed warm(thank goodness) and I relaxed.

I rubbed my favorite peach shampoo into my hair, inhaling the smell. I love peaches; I have ever since I was small and Teddy almost choked on one. I've always been a violent child and Maman hasn't been able to knock it out of me. I believe it comes from Papa's side.

After the foam was rinsed out, I put peach conditioner in, and smiled. I rubbed down with soap, and then another idea hit me. Literally. The water became freezing again, and I leaped out. Mostly, I was clean with no stuff in my hair, so that was fine. I grumbled under my breath as I toweled dry, and pulled my blonde hair in a ponytail. Kicking at the shower, I left,

I streaked across the hall to my room, not wanting anyone to see me in just a towel, especially the turquoise haired jerk. That's one thing I hate about the house. The bathroom is at one end of the hall, and my room is at the other. Totally not fair. If I have to pee in the middle of the night, it takes forever for my sleepy self to reach it, so sometimes I just wish I could pee on the floor. Once I did, and blamed it on Dominique. She was furious, and wouldn't talk to me for a day, which is an amazing feat for her. She will never shut up, especially to me. I love her, but sometimes I just want to strangle her.

My room was ransacked. I could tell that the little chatterbox had been in here looking through my stuff, and I made a mental note to kill her later. I hate snoops.

My gaze zeroed in on my only pair of lacy, pink underwear, the ones I got as a joke from Roxanne. I never wear them, because they itch in places you're not even supposed to think about. They were hanging on my bed post. I grumbled, and then a nasty but funny prank began to arrange itself to me. I grinned, and rubbed my hands together. Time to show Teddy Lupin what he was up against.

Teddy POV

When I saw the top of the roof, I froze in horror. "VICTOIRE!" I shouted in rage, my hair turning a fiery red. My bed was on the roof, and hanging from the bedpost was a pair of my _underwear. _ The rest of the underwear was littered all over, and there was a note attached to the underwear.

I ran inside, passing Victoire's door, and heard her giggle evilly. I was going to _kill _that girl later, even though she was showing signs of promise by doing such a prank. Still, no one pranks Teddy Lupin and gets away with it. No one.

I jogged up into the attic, and went into the door that led up on top of the roof. I climbed out, and walked carefully towards the bed. My random moments of clumsiness were very random, and I didn't want to have them while on top of a roof.

I reached the bed, and grabbed my underwear. I ripped the note off, and read:

_Teddy,_

_This is for ruining my birthday party, you jerk. It's time you got payback. By the way, who the heck is Celestina Ringer? She seems awfully fond of you from those letter she sent…._

_Hate you,_

_Victoire._

I worked my jaw for a moment in disbelief before scowling. Jeez, didn't she know how to take a joke? Girls. I rolled my eyes, which were brown at the moment, and began planning revenge. She wasn't the only one who liked getting people back.

I jumped off the roof, landing in a thorn bush. "Ow!" I screeched, ripping my way out of it. My arms and legs stung, and my shirt was ripped. Andromeda was going to kill me for that later, but I'd worry about that later. My main job now was to create a suitable revenge for Victoire, even if it killed me. I jogged over, and began to climb as best I could to her window. One problem: I climb like a drunk donkey. I fell twice, hard.

Finally, I reached her window and peered inside, feeling like some kind of stalker. She was gone, most probably to wait for me to come down so that she could gloat. I had maybe ten minutes to work with. I had to move fast.

I pried her window open, and crawled inside. I hurried directly to her drawer, and opened the top when. Freakily enough, she kept her underwear in the top drawer. I rolled my eyes at myself. A lot of people did that. Trust me to take something normal and change it into something freaky.

The first pair I drew out (feeling extremely disgusted) was lacy. I threw it into a pile, wondering how the heck that was to be worn. It would itch…. Down there. I gathered about ten more, and grabbed her hamper, which hung in her closet. I stuffed them in there, not being able to touch it for any longer. Then I headed up to the roof for my first trip.

Victoire POV

"TEDDY LUPIN!"

Victoire POV

I sucked on my finger, and glared at the gnome who had bit me. It grinned, and scurried away, and I muttered "I'm going to hurt you so bad when I catch you." I kicked a spray of dirt towards where Teddy was working, a few feet from me. He gave me a sour look, his hair fiery red with anger

After the underwear prank, Maman and Andromeda had sentenced us to cleaning the garden of gnomes and weeds, and replanting all sorts of plants. And, of course, I can't plant _at all._ Plants really hate me, and practically die when I touch them.

I began to hum some Muggle song I'd heard once. Teddy muttered something in annoyance, so I began to hum louder. "Stop!" I smiled. Bingo. I'd hit right on target. I hummed louder, and he began to hum some Celstina Warbeck song as loud as me. I hummed louder, then broke into song. He did the same and soon we were singing at the top of our lungs.

"THERE ARE WORSE THINGS I COULD DO, I COULD FLIRT WITH ALL THE GUYS_"

"OH, COME STIR UP MY CAULDRON, AND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT_"

"SHUT UP!" Maman screamed. She appeared at the door, her hair in a flurry, and cried "Stop singing and work!" I rolled my eyes at Teddy, and he smiled. True, he got on my nerves, but I'd take talking to him than a gnome.

She stormed away, and he began humming again, a clear challenge on his face, one that I was definitely going to take. I hummed louder, and so did he, until we were singing again. Maman appeared again and began cursing manically if French. Teddy and I doubled over in laughter as Papa came over and had to drag her away.

"Freedom," Teddy sang. Molly appeared, and placed her hands on her hips, looking annoyed. "Nope," she said, popping the p. "Victoire, start weeding over there. Teddy, go start getting rid of the garden gnomes." He glared at me like it was somehow my fault, and muttered "It won't be hard. I'll just have to show them Vic's face." I stuck my tongue out, and he stared at me angrily. "Would you mind repeating that?" Molly asked, voice dangerous. "Erm….. I think I hear a gnome!" He hurried away.

Molly watched for a while, occasionally telling me a better way to weed. It actually felt good to rip the weeds out, especially if I pretended I was ripping hair out of Teddy's scalp. I imagined what he would do and yell if I actually were pulling his hair out. I'm a sick girl. I really am.

When she wasn't looking, Teddy kicked a spray of dirt at me. Half of it flew into my mouth, and I choked, spitting. My hair got covered in dirt, and became dirty blonde. "Teddy!" I shouted. Molly spun, and snarled "Get back to work!" She might be old, but no one would ever dare say she was incompetent. If you got on her bad side, she would spear you with her voice and eyes. The trick was: (A)To not get on her bad side or (B) To not let her get in her stride. In other words, run for your life.

She watched us again like an eagle, but when she turned away Teddy threw some gnome poo at me. "Hey!" I yelled, grabbing a rock and hurling it. "Victoire!" Molly shrieked, turning just in time for the rock to hit Teddy's forehead. He fell like a stone. And she hurried over. "Why did you do that?" she screeched. "Arthur!"

Arthur ran outside, along with Ron, and they picked Teddy up and began carting him inside. As he passed, he winked at me and managed to hit me without making it look obvious. I glared, and wished looks could kill. Because if they did, I would have been at Teddy Lupin's funeral in a week.

Once they were gone, I continued pulling up roots in anger. Then, I remembered that George kept a lot of his stuff in the shed, and that he had a few firecrackers hidden. I began to laugh freakily, and grinned manically.

After I finished making it, I took it inside and set it in his room in his closet. Hopefully, Teddy would check in his closet and the prank would unfold. I could barely wait. I felt like Dominique. I was giggly, and acted like I'd just eaten about twenty candy bars. I flopped onto the couch beside Maman. She was-get this-sewing, and doing a terrible job. Blood stained the cream piece she was working on, but she didn't seem to care. "Go back out to Teddy," she ordered without looking up. "I'm done." Maman looked up and fixed me with a sharp look. I returned it evenly, and she sighed.

There was a loud shriek from upstairs, and she said "Please go see what Dominique and Louis are up to upstairs." I grinned, and jogged up to them.

I busied myself with my siblings until I heard Teddy's loud scream of fright. I burst into hysterics, and fell off the bed. "Shoot," I hissed, still giggling. I rubbed my knee, which I had hit on the wood floor. "VICTOIRE!" "Yes, Maman?" I called, trying unsuccessfully to stifle my laughter. "Come here!" I hurried down, and waited eagerly to see Teddy to come in the door, soaked in goop.

I climbed out of my window, and slid down the rope. I'm a pretty good climber, if I say so myself. I've always loved climbing stuff, even when I was little. I used to climb up Maman's leg before she would get annoyed and push me off.

I landed softly on the grass, swinging away from the bushes, and headed for the broom shed. I was on a mission to do one thing: steal Harry's would be the ultimate torture for Teddy; knowing I had stolen Harry's broom and not gotten caught, and had actually _ridden _it would kill him. Of course, I wasn't very good at riding brooms, but maybe if I got practice I would get some skills.

I pulled the door open, and slipped inside. It was dark as a tomb inside, and I managed to bump into something sharp in 5 seconds flat. As I already said: I'm not the most graceful creature in the world. I felt around for the smooth wood of a broom handle, and my fingers bumped into something smooth and warm and alive. I let out a loud squeal, and lurched backwards. I banged into the door, and opened my mouth to scream for help.

"Shut up!" Teddy hissed. I gasped in relief, and snarled "You scared me, stupid!" "Sorry. What the heck are you doing?" "Nothing?"

"Is there a light switch?" I demanded. "Nope. I already looked." "Ok. Grab a broom and come on." I felt with my hands, then yanked them back when I felt a spider web. I hate spiders with all my might. I'm not scared of them, I swear, I just really hate them. I opened the door, and stepped out. Teddy followed.

I snatched the broom from his hand, and said "What are you doing out here?" I asked again. "Getting Harry's broom. I want to see how it flies." "I should so tell on you." I said, narrowing my eyes. "But, how are you going to explain why you were out here?" "Darn it," I muttered. "Come on," Teddy encouraged. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the woods. Like a baby, I clutched onto him. I'd never been in the woods after dark, especially not with a boy known for playing tricks on people.

"It's ok. You can trust me." He assured me. I snorted, and he paused. His eyes, which were now bright green, stared at me. I could see they were slightly hurt. "Why can't you trust me?" he asked softly. "Uh, because you've pranked me millions of times, and thrown me under the bus hundreds of times." I replied, keeping a brusque tone. "You can always trust me, Victoire." He said. His voice rang with truth, and I nodded.

We ended up in this clearing that looked seriously beaten up. "George and Fred experimented stuff here," Teddy said. "Oh." I said. "Is this a good spot-" "It's fine, Vic. Stop worrying."

I climbed onto the broom, and then said "Now what?" "Jump," Teddy said. I did so, and yelped as the broom shot up. "Teddy-AHHHH!" The broom shot off, and Teddy shouted "Steer! STEER! GOSHDARNIT, STEER!" I tried, but the broom veered out from under me. I grabbed it, and began to feel dizzy as it went higher. Then, with my luck, I fell.

"AHHHHHHH!" I screamed, falling. I slammed through trees, hitting branches and finally fell on top of Teddy. I managed to crush him down to the ground, and it must have really hurt, but he just grinned and said proudly "Well, I caught you!" "Yep." I said.

"You want to try together?" he asked. I nodded, rubbed my butt, and said awkwardly "Umm, about the pranks…… I'm sorry?" Darn it, that sounded like a question. Teddy shrugged it off, and then crowed "The bed and the underwear thing was awesome. And the rocket! How did you make that?" I grinned, and said "I'll show you later. Can we try the broom?" "Eager now, aren't you?" he asked, smiling widely. "First, we should hug to get better." "You're just trying to get me hug you, aren't you?" I said, my eyes narrowed. "Maybe…." I sighed, and let him envelop me in a bear hug. When he let go, I said "If you ever try to flirt with me again, I will kill you."

We climbed onto the broom, Teddy's arms wrapped firmly around my waist, and rose into the air. Ahh. Life was good.

"He is flirting with my daughter!"Fleur declared in outrage. "This is too much!" Bill wrapped his arm around her waist, and kissed the top of her head. "It's all right, Fleur. She's thirteen now." "Thirteen!" Fleur said. "My parents never would have allowed it! Maman will have a fit!" "They're your parents, Fleur, not Victoire's. It's not like they're getting married. Anyway, I remember you griping about your parents when we were younger."

"When we were younger!" Fleur said, staring at him. "I was still just a girl!" Bill stroked her silvery blonde hair, and said "Let it go, sweetheart. Victoire can take care of herself. Besides we know Teddy. He's like our own son." "Minus the French name," Victoire said. "Minus the French name," Bill said, smiling. He and Victoire had had many spirited arguments on naming their children French names. She'd won all three times, but he was still determined. "The next one will have an English name." he announced. "You act like I'm pregnant already," she scolded gently.

Bill shook his head, and watched as Fleur peered out into the night. "They just landed." She said. "What!' She let out a stream of French, and he rolled his eyes. "He kissed her on the cheek. It's not the end of the world." She opened her mouth to deny that, but he shushed her.

"Just think, at least Victoire's learnig to fly. You know she can't ride a broomstick at all." "Neither can I," Fleur admitted. She squinted towards the two, who were now playing an animated game of tag. "Well, I refuse to be pleased, but at least it's Teddy. We know him. It's not some foreign boy who wears his hair long, and goes on missions to bring home treasure." Bill grinned at her, and then with a small laugh, she said "You need to give your hair a trim. It has a bunch of split ends." She ran her fingers through it.

Outside, Victoire threw a stick at Teddy and Fleur smiled. She turned, and kissed Bill on the lips. "Oh, all right." She said. "His hair better not be blue at the wedding."


End file.
